Persons of the Week 2/18/06

Sarah Vowell:
"Alas, I see my initial worries about the current administration as the greatest betrayal in my whole life by my old pal pessimism. I attended the president's inauguration in 2001. When he took the presidential oath, I cried. What was I so afraid of? I was weeping because I was terrified that the new president would wreck the economy and muck up my drinking water. Isn't that adorable? I lacked the pessimistic imagination to dread that tens of thousands of human beings would be spied on or maimed or tortured or killed or stranded or drowned, thanks to his incompetence. I feel like a fool. All those years of Sunday school, and still the apocalypse catches me off guard."

Dick "Fudd" Cheney: for providing so much opportunity for amusement

Dave Barry: for taking advantage of Fudd's gracious opportunity granted:

1. BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: We have just received this exclusive photograph of the vice-president's quail-hunting party.
   
2. UPDATE UPDATE: Mr. Cheney "had absolutely no intention of shooting anybody," according to a statement just released by the vice president's shooting instructor.
   
3. GOOD NEWS IN THE WAR ON TERROR
   It's about time.
   
4. TODAY'S DICK CHENEY MARKSMANSHIP AWARD GOES TO...
   ...this sportsman.